snapshots of my so-called life

It’s one of those nights again when I can’t seem to put my eyes to sleep. I’ve already watched all the late night shows on TV and have gone through 2 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and my eyes are still wide awake as an owl’s. For lack of a better thing to do, I’ve decided to just rummage through my MP3s in my laptop and I stumbled upon Everybody’s Changing by Keane at the top of my MP3 list. As I clicked on the play button, I realized how struck I am with the song; it clearly sums up my current thoughts and emotions. Let me internalize it further.

Everybody’s Changing
by Keane

You say you wander your own land

But when I think about it

I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking

And I can see the pain in your eyes

Says everybody's changing

And I don't know why

Different forms of change are happening around me lately….weddings, babies, sickness, death, love, hurt, happiness, sadness, victory, defeat, etc. And how do I respond to these forms of change? I seem to be not so bothered by it at the onset but when I thought hard about it, I realized how sad they made me feel, maybe because change is something that I’m seeking for so long but have not been currently blessed with.

So little time, trying to understand that I’m
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody’s changing
And I don’t feel the same

The changes that the people around me are experiencing in their lives have somehow made me rethink about the current state of my life. I realize that my life’s been at its most static pace ever, it’s so routine and uneventful. Sure there are exciting activities that I’ve recently engaged myself into like sports, photography and dancing but it still can’t hide the fact that there’s still a big thing lacking.

You’re gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody’s changing
And I don’t feel right

Change, as they say is the only constant thing in this world, I guess there are a lot of opportunities for change out there for me but perhaps the truth of the matter is I’m not yet ready to delve into unfamiliar territory and step out of my comfort zone. To risk is something which I’m not acquainted with lately, I’ve always lived my life as a goody, law-abiding citizen. Maybe it’s high time that I do something spontaneous. For once, I’ll let my guard down and let loose. If change doesn’t come to me then I’ll be the one to approach it.